For queer folks, coming out is never just a single moment—it’s a lifetime of moments. This year, National Coming Out Day lands at a time when LGBTQ+ identities are increasingly scrutinized and legislated against. And as much as today is about visibility, it’s also about resilience.
The Tradition and the Times: How Far We’ve Come—And How Far We Haven’t
National Coming Out Day (NCOD) traces back to October 11, 1988, as a response to the 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights1 2, which brought half a million LGBTQ+ people and allies together in a massive demonstration for equality. The vision of its founders, Dr. Robert Eichberg and Jean O’Leary, was simple: that visibility breeds acceptance, and acceptance can drive change. The core belief behind NCOD is that coming out, whether individually or collectively, chips away at the shame and stigma that LGBTQ+ people face. The more of us who live openly, the less the world can pretend we don’t exist.
Yet here we are in 2024, 36 years later, and coming out is as fraught as it ever was—perhaps more so. Even as parts of society have moved forward, we’re facing a serious rollback of rights, from anti-LGBTQ+ book bans to “Don’t Say Gay” laws in schools, to harsh policies targeting trans healthcare. Coming out in this climate isn’t just an act of personal truth; it’s an act of defiance.
The Pressure to Be “Out and Proud”—And Why It’s OK if You’re Not
Coming out isn’t as cut-and-dried as it sounds. Many of us have grappled with the pressure to be “out and proud,” and while NCOD is a great reminder of how freeing authenticity can be, it’s worth noting that coming out isn’t safe or feasible for everyone. We can’t ignore that for many, staying in the closet is a matter of safety, particularly as anti-LGBTQ+ violence is on the rise.
For those who choose not to come out—whether it’s today or any other day—there’s no shame in it, and you’re no less valid for your decision. Queer safety isn’t conditional on how visible we are, and celebrating National Coming Out Day doesn’t mean that everyone has to follow the same script. For those who can’t come out, today can still be a reminder that they’re not alone in the fight for visibility and rights.
The New Queer Rebellion: Choosing When (and Whether) to Come Out
If there’s anything today’s landscape has taught us, it’s that coming out is political. For trans and nonbinary individuals especially, the decision to come out often comes with added weight. Conservative lawmakers and pundits have painted a target on the back of trans and nonbinary people, creating a hostile environment for those who are simply trying to live authentically.
Yet, this repression has ignited a fresh wave of queer activism, from younger generations leading fierce protests to older queer folks re-engaging with advocacy work. Choosing to come out in this environment is a reclamation of power, a statement that we won’t be erased. Coming out becomes not just a declaration of identity, but a challenge to a society that insists on erasing us.
“Being out is, in itself, a radical act. It’s not just telling the world who you are—it’s daring it to deal with it.”
Coming Out Isn’t Just for the Queer Kids: Allies, This Is Your Day Too
The beauty of National Coming Out Day isn’t just about LGBTQ+ folks stepping forward; it’s also a reminder that support from allies is essential, and earned. If you’re cis or straight, today can be a moment to show up, but that doesn’t mean claiming the title of “Ally” on your own. Allyship isn’t a label; it’s a practice—a commitment to act, listen, and advocate with sincerity.
Showing up in ways that truly matter to LGBTQ+ people might look like interrupting harmful rhetoric, making space for queer voices, or simply fostering safer environments for us to live authentically. It’s through this kind of everyday action that allyship is conferred, not claimed. And in a world where LGBTQ+ rights and identities face relentless pushback, this kind of proven, earned support is more crucial than ever.
Looking Ahead: What National Coming Out Day Means Now—and Tomorrow
As we celebrate National Coming Out Day this year, it’s clear that the day has evolved. What was once an earnest push for visibility is now a call to arms, a reminder of our collective resilience. For some, today is a celebration. For others, it’s a painful reminder of the distance we still have to travel. Either way, it’s a powerful moment for the LGBTQ+ community and our allies to stand up and be counted.
In 2024, National Coming Out Day is more than a symbolic celebration—it’s a rallying cry. It’s about visibility, yes, but it’s also about saying: “We’re here, and we’re not going anywhere.” To everyone coming out today, or celebrating quietly from the sidelines, TML sees you. Your truth is valid, and your courage is a powerful form of protest.
- https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2018/06/pride-pictures-1987-aids-memorial-quilt/ ↩︎
- https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2021/05/pride-pictures-1980s-aids-epidemic-changed-everything/ ↩︎
Happy National Coming Out Day from TML, readers. Be safe out there, and take good care of one another.